Bounce Back

5:23

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First couple of days bouncing back after a longer period of being down. I think previously I had hoped that I was over down periods. That seems silly when I type it. But it was my hope.

I had been in a longer period of pretty even mood. Not really hypo-manic any more and definitely not down.

I feel particularly at a loss to explain why the down period and the subsequent up period that is starting.

Caffeine: I’m several days into a period of removing caffeine – well past any caffeine being in my system or having any withdrawal symptoms any more. So it can’t be caffeine instigating this mood change. And it seems unlikely that it triggered the down period[1]. I’ve also had a few caffeine-free periods this calendar year and those don’t line up with any mood shifts.

Diet: I have been changing my diet recently – more switching from one pattern to another than changing. But as I looked back over this calendar year comparing other times of diet shift against up/down periods… I can’t see any correlation.

Interaction: I’ve severely limited external interaction. Between being busy with work and then down, it was the prudent action[3]. The few days leading up to this, it was reduced a bit more – I had more space and quiet. But the day that started the uptick, I had a bit more interaction. Given how little, this seems unlikely to be any trigger. If anything, I feel this is more correlated than causal: I allowed more interaction because I felt I could handle it because I was more up than I had been.

Exercise: I had well and truly fallen off any exercise for a longer period. Partly as a desire to get out of the down period, I started a bit more of this as well[2]. I also coupled this with some restorative activities – the main goal being trying to reduce stress and feel more positive. But it’s only been a couple of days, seems a bit early to expect any results from this.


I did notice a significant change in my sleep towards the end. The combination of being down and then off caffeine. Sleep came easily and long. And, after some periods of lacking sleep, it was a great balance. Other than the knowledge of the deep cave that that can become, it felt really great. The first day of not needing as much sleep also felt exceptionally great, as I was well rested and didn’t have the nagging concern that I was falling into a longer down period where sleep beckoned for too many hours.


As for my symptoms today (and yesterday). I’m don’t have “rushed brain” or any kind of really racing thoughts. As with yesterday, I was simply awake. Yesterday particularly I didn’t want to be awake or get up in the middle of the night (and didn’t). Today I was more alert, but still no particular thoughts or speed to them. As I evaluated what to do, I did have quick clarity of thought – but in pretty normal terms, nothing that felt unusually manic about my thoughts.

I am reticent to even call this “up” already. It seems to early and the symptoms too subtle. If it weren’t for the disturbed sleep twice running, I don’t think I would label it such.



[1] Unless there is some mechanism of having too much caffeine for too long that then my body eventually just wears out somehow and gets down after too much of the “up” stimulus of the caffeine. Possibly hypothesis to keep in mind, but no reason, at this time, to think it is true.

[2] And particularly focused on more relaxing exercise. Generally my goal is stress-reduction not stress-inducing-calorie-burning-sweat-it-up exercise.

[3] As discussed previously, I know that a lot of interaction can trigger a mood shift. Either up or down: more often “up” though if it pushes my too far up, that can be the downward trigger. And the unpredictable and sometimes unavoidable nature of interactions lend themselves to “overdoing”.


Photo Credit: simall


 

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Bounce Back