Definitely

4am

There’s definitely a pattern here. Lots of music in my head is a symptom of the manic. Weird. Or I guess not really weird.

4am today, 3:30 yesterday, 4 before that.

Juggled work hours, relaxing time, bedtime. But I’m still awake. Far less frustrated by that than usual.

It could also be coffee: I dialed it back for a while and had had more the last few days. Not after 2pm, but caffeine as a drug that increases happiness could be a cause of this up period.

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Coffee: delicious but cursed?

 

If it’s not the coffee, then I don’t know what it is. And that’s worrisome. I had been doing so well at managing hypo-manic symptoms.

There is some stress, but not crazy amounts. There are some other social things that could have driven energy levels higher. So it could be a mix.

It probably is, but I don’t know for sure. That uncertainty is very hard to deal with. If it’s a clear problem, then I can make changes and test things. Or, I can decide that it’s too much work just right now – but at least I have control and can do that.

Not knowing really drives a feeling of helplessness.


 

On the positive side: I’m also getting the productivity boosts and assertiveness boosts for this hypo-manic period.

Still bouncing along the high points as discussed previously.


Photo Credit: waferboard

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Definitely

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